Alcohol of Love

Alcohol had lost its virginity
I realized after nine drinks
For I was yet not tipsy
I remembered my last shot
It was tequila and not rum
You held me in your arms
Dancing on the beats of drum
Your grip tightened on my waist
I was tasting vodka through your lips
Bitter taste diluted by sudden twist
One after another we took the sips
We shared equal pleasure
Voyaging through perpetual bliss!
We experienced tender elation
Embraced in each others arms
We gave in all earthly realization
Exploring shores of whimsy
"It’s unsafe to drive back", you said
"Our cars or passion?" I whispered
Down on the bed there we laid
We wanted more, we wanted it all
Nothing was wrong, nothing was right
Your breath entangled with mine
That was one New Year’s night
Two years later, today we met again
You waved and said, "Hi how’s life?"
My heart skipped a few beats
As you introduced me to your wife
Wind of reality chocked my senses
After all, Alcohol never lost its virginity
Ghost of reality said, "Welcome back"
Silently, I walked in awe of my own vanity
Mute tears trickled from one eye
Alcohol of love dripped from the other
Both rested on my lips waiting to dry…


© Saher

Day after day, Night after night...

Day after day, Night after night
I lose my heart vs. brain fight
You are away, somewhere just fine
Along you took that heart of mine
I say I try, but I know that’s a lie
I smile, I laugh, yet every moment I die
You are here, you are there
You are almost everywhere
I wish you joy before I sleep
Alone silently in the dark I weep

I don’t know how to forget
For I don’t know what to forget
Memories of time we spent together
Or the joy showered by your laughter
Thoughts filled with your fragrance
Or the tears advocating your absence
Your twinkling eye filled with joy
Or my love that denies to die
How can I forget you?
And then live too?

© Saher 13th July’06

... Zor Nahii

Waqt ka kaarwaan chalta rahaa
LamHahooN ki tasveer badali nahii
Ajeeb kash-m-kash maine huuN
Teri yaad z.ahan se mit.Ti nahii

Raastein badal kar dekhe humne
HawaoOn ke rukh badale nahi
Kaise bhuul jaaoon sochta huuN
ZaakhmoO ke nishaAn mit.Te nahii

Ta.umr maanga dua mein tuujhe
Haqeekat se ru.baru huuye nahi
khawab.oOn ko hii jeeTe rahe
Dua qabool jaane kyoun huii nahii

Gulaam Ishq, Wafaa, Etbaar ke
Naye rishtoon mein bandhte nahii
Toot jaate hain sil-sile galey milne ke
haath se haath bhi jab milte nahii

Sach haii judaa raastein darmiyaan
Sachayi chah.kar jhutlayi jaatii nahii
tabasum ke chilman tar-tar huye
ashk ab yahaan ajnabee lagte nahii

Ib.adaat, Dua, Tishnagi, Intezar ho tum
Sabko hai khabar, Khabar tumko nahii
Tanhaii ke aagosh mein beetayii ek umr
Dil ke faisloon par chalta koii zor nahii

© Saher 16th Jun’06

(tishnagi - thirst/desire/longing)

...Kaise?

Mere haaNste chehre paR taane kasse
duniyaa kaRe sawaal jawaab duuN kaise

Kalam siyaahi meiN dubO lii hai maine
paR ehsaas ko lafzoN ki zubaaN duuN kaise

Judaa tujh se jism hua meraa ek aRsa pehle
mahfuuz terii yaadoN ko is dil se nikaaluuN kaise

Ek umR bitaayii jin paTharoN paR tumne
tere wajuud ko in paTharoN se judaa karuuN kaise

BichaD gaye the raaste humaare tumhaare
apni nayii raahoN se tumhe milaauuN kaise

Wafaa samjh kaR bitaayi jo ek umR tanhaa humne
be.wafaai ka kafan uss umR paR chaDhaauuN kaise

Aaj bhi nazaR aate haiN tere saath bitaaye lamhe
un lamhoN ko waqt ki reit meiN dafnaauuN kaise

Ashq palkoN ki chilman meiN hai chhupe
tamaashayi iss duniyaa ko inka sabab samjhaauuN kaise

Din raat shaamo saher tera khayaal taDpaata hai
tanhaa ek auR umR guzaaruuN to guzaaruuN kaise

Tujhe bhulaa duuN kehteiN hai dost saare
bataao jism se jaan ko judaa kaR zindaa rahuuN kaise

© Saher (31st May’06)

Life-A-Play

We all are part of “Life”, so-called play
With fiction, comedy and tragedy at display
Characters exhibiting all the shades
Now and then light of hope fades
As we move along with the story
Wishing a magnificent endless glory
We see questions popping here and there
And demons of doubt smiling everywhere
Greed, envy, hatred, and defeat
Original sins unknowingly we adapt
Mimicking every action without doubt
Running after what’s unknown throughout
Different faces, different shades
Different people, different faiths
Some are geek, some are freak
Some are strong, some simply weak
Moving along, life appears so surreal
Innocent world fussing over simple deal
Little we know about this great play
Yet, “Life” as called, is here to stay!

© Saher 18th May’06

Rain!

Gulmohar tree shivers timidly
Outside my window as I view
As lightning strikes madly
Clouds sing aloud in order to woo
Moving towards my balcony
I wait for the great rendezvous
Wrapped in darkness so avidly
Like a drunken stranger on the road
Wind whistles, breaking the silence
Sand rises from the ground
Surrendering to the winds influence
A tryst of lost lovers
Greeting full of kisses and passion
With open arms they bond
Wind and Sand, dance frantically
Along comes the cloud
Creating a symphony so brilliantly
I felt it falling on my face,
As lightening strikes again and again!
It has arrived with all its grace
The much awaited, Rain!

© Saher (14th May’06)

...Aassan nahi

Dil mein chupi hai kai khahniya
Har khani ko dohrana aassan nahi
Is chehre par hai kai hansee
Har hansee ka matlab samjhana aassan nahi
Jaan lo,
Is dil mein dard hai
Dard ko zubaan dena aassan nahi

Andheri ratoon mein jagate hai
Kissi-ka intezar karna aassan nahi
Aksar bechain dil tadapta hai
Be-chaini ko karar dena aassan nahi
Jaan lo,
Tum ho yahan, har jagah
Tumhe bhulana aassan nahi

LabBoo ki tabbasum gum si hai
AshkoOn ko chupana aassan nahi
bheed hai har aur yahan
tanhai ki chahat aassan nahi
Jaan lo,
Hum maut ki aagosh mein chup jayenge
Ab aise jeena aassan nahi...

© Saher

Life Full of Doubts…

"Life is at its weakest when there's more doubts than trust, But life is at its strongest when you learn how to trust inspite of the doubts."

Someone very special once shared this quote with me, and for some unknown or un-expressible reason it stuck by me forever.

We all are forced to feel insecure at most of the times in our lives. There are many moments when we feel lost and uncared for, but that is the time when we truly come to know what life really is? It is living without judging, without questioning; Living every moment what it is worth for, for once it is gone it can never be returned!!

Human beings are the most intelligent living species (As Told!!) still we are the weakest in every possible way. We have been so busy gaining materialistic heights and collecting things that we have forgotten the pleasures that we already have. Pleasures that watching a sunset brings in, pleasure that walking bare foot on sand brings, pleasure that a kids smile bestows on us… and many more…

WE are lost in the volumes of concrete and steel around us, we have forgotten to breathe in the open air. We all want to be successful and powerful; we all want the best of ourselves in terms of wealth and power, but does really being powerful is all that life is about???

Aren’t we all trapped and wish to break out, I’m sure we all want to change the way we live in most of the ways!!! But do we really try? If you are nodding your head to say “YES” hold it right there mate. We do try but only to change our comforts, either our power, success or materialistic gains; we never try to change what we REALLY want too. And what do I think that is?? Well on a very simple note that would be “Peace”. I’m not a humanitarian wishing for world peace and all. What I’m talking about it our OWN Internal Peace.

Take out some time. Open the window of your room (If you have one) look outside. See the sky above you, look at the people around you; Just watch them!!! Watch them do all that you would have been doing too at some or the other time.

Take a glimpse at your own self through the actions of others and imagine how you would have been reacting? Try it!!! At least Once.

Why do we feel so scared at times, scared of the loneliness? Have you tried spending a Saturday night all by yourself lately? And to the worse try telling a friend that you were all by yourself sitting in your room, doing nothing. I bet 98% would start asking, why were you sick, were you working, what was wrong!!! (I BET)

And to their amaze if you answered, “Nope just like that”, you should check out the expressions!!! Worth checking out!

We doubt everything, even something as simple as sleeping an hours extra on a weekday. What’s wrong with me, how come I slept an hour extra? Drinking too much water for no reason; I must we dried inside; I’m drinking like a camel.

What the heck, you slept an hour extra; you drank more than usual…it won’t kill you or anyone else!!! Just chill, stop doubting and questioning the world for that!!!

Simplest example to prove that WE ALL are in doubt no matter what!!!

Now, changing the view to life back again. What do I really mean by the very first quote of this journal.

“Trust”, the foundation of life, and “Doubt” the knife dangling over the thread of life. We all need to learn to trust without questioning.

Try loving someone without expecting nothing in return; and I mean NOTHING!!!

Answer this – have you ever denied your feeling for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle??

Again, just because we were in doubt we suppress our feelings. And this is not in relation to only Love, it happens in every transaction that we have with each other; our parents, our bosses, our friends, and even strangers. We are so overwhelmed with the excepted outcome of the transaction that most of the time we don’t even say it. We just sit back and wonder, what if?

Now answer this – Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had?

Take a chance, life turns out to be what it is, only by the chances you take. Take a plunge without fearing about the broken bones.

Live this life to its fullest, for that’s ALL you have!!! Nothing more, nothing less!!
Remember until you do it you would never know what it could have been.

Throw all the doubts away (of every moment and thought) and just live!

© Saher

Clueless...

I lay back and drift away with the wind
Soul wanders for something it can’t find
I can see a land of mystery and dreams
Where spring whispers life in my ears
Grateful to the ambience that I see
Still, my relaxation is incomplete
Kissing the sky in blind euphoria
Debating the line of pleasure and pain

Laying my weary head on the shoulder
Of an lonely road in the rain…
Would I leave my footprints on the sand?
A question haunts me all this while
What am I rummaging around for?
Still, a mystery unresolved in my heart
One more sunset behind the shores
With a tear dying before it rolls…

Dark clouds shout every now and then
As if trying to show me the way
With no shadow to follow me
Where should I go? I question every last ray
Visions rise from an unknown shore
Like an illusion fading with the night
Stillness of the darkness embraces each light
Still, I wander for something I can’t find…

© Saher

...Baki Hai

Bheege nayan sab keh gaye,
Par iss dil mein dard ab bhi baki hai
Hasta nahiN yeh dil ab
Par hasne ki Khwahish ab bhi baki hai
SahaRa mein chalte chale hai hum
Par phulooN ki manzil ab bhi baki hai
Kaii khwab marte hain har pal
Par khwabooN mein jeena ab bhi baki hai
(P)halak mein hai sitareiN hazarooN
Par ek sitara pana ab bhi baki hai
Hum-rahi koi nahi yahan
Par ek mrag-trishDa ab bhi baki hai
Andhera har moD par hai
Par ek “Saher” ki talaash ab bhi baki hai
Marna to ek din hai
Par zindagi jeena ab bhi baki hai...

© Saher

Behind the wheels...

Sometimes,
I feel, I’m drunk behind the wheel
The wheel of time!
As the space of my life spins all around me
Even before I close my eyes
For I see the shadows painting my mind
Faces of imagination begging to hide
Questions wander around my soul
As I answer a smile for what I own
I follow the wrong light
A fight to prove my own point
Every dusk to dawn I cry
A wish to touch my every own sky
My fingers sense the burning pain
Fire of my desire making me insane
Driving away from the Gray past
I remember the winds that couldn’t last
Future is still unexplored
A vision still away from the open doors
This present sings my heart song
As I enjoy the trip, I wished life long
As my life flashes in front of my eyes
I wish to enjoy this journey until I die…

© Saher (5th Jan’03)

What Lasts Forever

Traveling on the road of wonder
I wondered what lasts forever?
Innocent smile of a child?
Or the fragile flower out in the wild?
Leaves kissed by the dewdrops every dawn?
Or the sun seeking refuge under oceans lawn?

Traveling on the road of wonder
I wondered what lasts forever?
Our shadows at different hours?
Or the light emitted by tiny stars?
Sweet nectar of the untouched flower?
Or the dreams that's lost somewhere far?

Traveling on the road of wonder
I wondered what lasts forever?
False lives we live for someone's sake?
Or the entwined promises we make?
Unknown music blasting our souls?
Or the challenges of the waves on the shores?

Traveling on the road of wonder
I wondered what lasts forever?
Love that dwells in every heart?
Or the sorrows of being alone on earth?
I cried all this while to find the answer?
And I learnt, Nothing lasts forever...

© Saher (19th July’03)

Waiting for a Reply...

Hush!
Let me hear them talk
They are deciding my destiny
They are looking for the answers today
Tomorrow the Questions will be asked
Tch! tch! tch! Poor girl
I can hear them say
As I look from up above...

Hush!
Let me hear them talk
My mom is sobbing in the corner
Daddy with his face down in his hands
"What did she do?"
"Oh! Why did this happen to her?"
I can hear them say
As I look from up above...

Hush!
Let me hear them talk
Next to my body down on the floor
People are mourning, I can see
Some are standing close to the door
He should be punished for doing this to me!
I can hear them say
As i look from up above...

Hush!
Let me hear them talk
"She didn't come back from the park"
"It was late than usual, so we went to look"
Her naked body thrown behind the big bush
Stained in blood there her body lay
I can hear them say
As I look from up above...

Hush!
Let me hear them talk
"Cannot arrest him, There's no case!"
He said, the man with the cuffs and gun
"Don't muddle with them, you don't know him"
"Forget about the case, he's a rich mans son"
I can hear hem say,
As I look from up above...

Hush!
Let me hear them talk
Poor dad is shaking and begging
Hands crossed and tears dripping
She was destined for this end!
This is what God had decided
I can hear them say
As I look from up above...

Hush!
Stop chanting Almighty's name
Angels, Leave my hand, let me go,
Was I so bad that almighty loved me not?
Why did he let this happen to me?
Am I not his child? Then why me?
Why thee hate me, and love him?
Abuse me, slaughter me, is that his right?

Hush!
Let him answer to my questions
When will you end this Man Vs. Woman fight?
We both are your child, then why this inequality?
He whom I create, he who I bear in my womb,
Shall no more rape my body and rip my soul!
A tear then trickled down Almighty's eye,
He looked down, waiting for all the men to reply...

Hush! Hush! Hush!
No More I say...

© Saher 24th Mar'06

Facing Reality!

I always wanted to explore the limits of one knowing themselves. It is so strange that one, through out their lives try to justify their own stand. In day today life it is so difficult for one individual to be what s/he really is!

We try to wrap our selves in so many false covers. Covering our real face and identity. We wake up every morning and without wasting a single moment, we wear our so-called masks. Hiding our real face behind the artificial beauty of what world wants to see one as and not what we are!

The question is, why being what one is, so difficult. Why can’t we enjoy what we are and the way we wish to be. What is the need to act and behave in a certain way? A very small expression of happiness and smile is also monitored and had to be controlled.

We wear this mask for the world, for being accepted in the society. We are so lost in this outer image of our being, that we almost start to live in a land were we have a masquerade party through out our life! And we don’t even have the courage to stand up for once and pull off this mask and show the world the REALITY behind the mask. The real beauty of the heart and not the make up!

Everyone is in search of something true, but the sad part is that no one is ready to be true, even to their own-selves. It is an irony that we want to know the real human inside each other, and always want the other person to be real to us, but we never allow anyone to take off our masks and look in our eyes and see the shimmering lights of truth and love that one has in those eyes.

We are afraid of the fact that we might not be the TYPICAL human beings, when our make-up will fade and bright light will fall on our face! Again the strange thing to work out is that everyone wants to be just Typical. No one wishes to be an individual.

We talk about fashion, style, glamour, makeover and the enhancement of ones confident, and we use all this to change our whole personality and transform our self into an astonishing show piece. Mind it!, this show piece possesses the characteristics like walking, talking and even thinking. But again the parameters within which one thinks is so small that it never grows out of the illusion of fitting in the surrounding and being accepted in the society.

Courage of not wearing this mask, which hides the individuality of a person and puts them into a land of mirror image, is what we need. We do not wish to surround ourselves with human beings, who are here just to be like others, and who feel shameful for being unique. Our society will never be able to think of expansions in term of ideas and feelings, if we cling our whole lives around the false world of beautiful warping papers!

It requires not just courage, but a heart full of flames to challenge the people who walk and talk the language which is seen everywhere, and to tell them that what they do is not something great but almost kiddish. Why one has to smile, when s/he doesn’t even understand the joke, just because if s/he doesn’t smile they would be considered as a dud!

Why one have to put on those dancing shoes, when one wishes to enjoy the beauty of nature all alone, just because s/he would be preached on being a outcast. Rubbish!!! That is all I think this is!

Exercising the fantasies and dreams one has and all that a heart wishes to do is what living fully means.

“A Life not lived like an individual, is like a dream, only dreamt of, but never lived in”

Just wish to be not someone in the crowd but someone who stands out of the crowd…someone different. Being different is this all about. Try something different and the world will slap you in the face, but that is just the starting and if you get the slap, pat yourself and smile, because this slap tells you that you are about to be awarded with respect and love, as you have set a new trend of thought. Don’t forget every toddler falls before rising high, before meeting the ocean, every stream has to fall down the lake.

It is just a sign, live cross the sign of failure and you’ll enjoy the victory of being an individual.And like a leader you’ll be followed, again by those who are scared to set their own trends, and who fail to realize their own dreams, but what the hack, as long as you emerge as an individual, and tell the world that breaking all the rules is not that difficult! It is just facing the realities of life and being Just Real.

© Saher

Cage of Life!

Earth-born soul that to the stars
Looks forth from these low prison bars,
Tho’ our keepers say that we will sing
We all are cage-born bird, unhappy thing;
Doing whatever the world command
Losing every battle without holding a sword,
Born with chains of dos and don’ts
Resting our heads on the cold iron rods;


Reality calls so we build our lives
Challenging the realities with new dreams,
This reaching out for life and love
That mocks us like a flitting dove;
Searching within our dying souls
What we want; never defining our own roles,
Every life cryin’ for distinguished song
Wondering if one more day went wrong?


One-day solitude knocks on our door
With laughter deafening our ears to the core,
Holding a mirror; reflection of what we wanted
And we moan over all that we chanted;
For a loftier spirit that is wounded now
All lives haunted by the question - “How”?
No dream lived “true” through all these age
For no one ever tussled his way out of this cage.

© Saher 31st Mar’06

Tears in Heaven

Tears in Heaven

The month is one.
And I have just begun.
You cannot see me,
But soon I will be free.

The month is two.
I have nothing to do.
I am safe inside,
I don’t have to hide.

The month is three.
God says I am special,
A precious jewel to thee.
Soon I will be out,
And love is my only plea.
I will be so dear to thee.

My eyes are blue.
My hair is blonde.
I have a soft little belly,
And a teeny little nose.
I am so little,
Vulnerable and brittle.

The month is four.
They don’t want me anymore.
Abortion is what they call it.
Mommy, please don’t tear me apart,
Don’t drop me in the drain.

The month is five.
I am no longer alive.
Guess Mommy didn’t love me,
Was I ugly to thee?

The month is six.
It’s too late to fix.
I was not made to stay,
Mommy put me away.

The month is seven.
The month is eight.
It doesn’t matter now,
She does not feel the weight.

The month is nine.
I would have been out,
And be just fine.
My chuckles; my cries,
You would have loved.
How I wish to be cuddled,
In the tender arms of thine.

Though in the Heaven’s above,
I still yearn for your love.
I wonder, why I had to die?
Do you know Mommy, I still cry.

© Saher 27th Mar’06