4th Feb’08 – 2:53AMExactly one and half years has passed by since I last expressed my feelings on paper. “Why did I stop writing?” this question followed me throughout this while. Whenever I tried to answer, I fell short of words, for I really didn’t know the reason myself.
For me expressing my inner most feeling was very easy, but only on paper. I could never spell it out in front of anyone. I was afraid that the other person might never understand the exact meaning of what I said. So I always made an easy escape, just spurted it out in silence on a piece of paper. But again, there comes a time when the things that give you most comfort also start to shackle your presence. Something of the same sort happened with me.
My thoughts, feelings and expressions chocked my senses to a point that I couldn’t scribble them down on a paper anymore. Reason, still unknown!
The one who said, “Reality is stranger than fiction”, must have surely tasted reality! The most brutal fact of being adult is to learn to stop acting like a kid. We can also put it as, “Maturity is learning to let go…”, but how? No one tells you that.
To cry when it hurts, is immaturity, to laugh when its funny, is again immaturity, but to hide the pain behind the mask of a smile, is maturity. Hhhmm, why don’t I agree to the norms of this world? Why can’t I behave the way they want me too? Why is it so hard for me to let go? There are thousands of such questions still seeking an answer, but so far I have failed miserably at the attempt of answering them.
So, here I begin a new journey, hoping to find some answers that would comfort my spirit. Embarking on a brand new expedition, to know myself and to share the new me with the world.
© Saher
